Ganin Jini A Daren Farko Bashi Ne Budurci Ba:
A zamanin da can, anyi lokacin da ake shinfida farin kyale akan shifidar sabbin ma'aurata domin a tabbatar da budurcin amaryar.
Idan jini ya zuba a daren farkon saduwarta da mijinta to wannan itace budurwa abar alfahari ga iyayenta dama zuri'ansu gaba daya. Idan kuwa ba a ga jini ya malale wannan farin kyalen ba to wannan amaryar ba budurwa bace aka auro, ma'ana tana zina ko ta taba yin zina. Wanda hakan na iya rusa wannan auren.
Wannnan maguzanci tonon silili yayi tasiri sosai cikin wasu kabilun African ciki harda kabilun Hausa da Fulani. Wanda tasirinsa ya jima cikin al'uma sosai kamin kungiyoyin addini su yaki irin wannan bakar al'adar.
Wasu mazan suna dauka cewa muddin basu ga jini ya zuba a darensu na farko da sabuwar amaryarsu ba to a tunaninsu wannan amaryar ta taba yin zina ko kuma tanayin zina.
Wasu mazan kuwa suna daukar cewa muddin basu sha wahala ba wajen shigar da azzakarinsu farjin amaryarsu a daren farko wannan ma alamune na amaryar tana zina. So suke suga a ranar farko babu kofa a farjin amaryarsu sai sun shiga da kyar.
Wannan camfin ko tunani da har yanzu yake da tasiri ga wasu mazan yasa yanzu haka 'yan mata masu niyar aure wandan kuma suka taba zina ko suke zina suke da dabaru da damar gaske da suke amfani dasu wajen tsuke gabansu ya dawo tamkar na yar shekaru 7 da haihuwa.
A yanzu haka akwai hanyoyi na zamani dana gargajiya masu yawan gaske da 'yan mata suke bi kuma suke amfani dasu domin su tsuke gabansu har sai jini yayi zuba a daren farko aurensu. Inda ango sai yayi ta murna da farin cikin ya samu matarsa a budurwa nan ko baisan dawan gari ba.
Sai dai kuma yana da kyau maza su fahimci cewa ita fa budurwa da akwai hanyoyi masu yawan gaske da zata iya fita daga budurci kuma batasan wani danamiji da sunan jima'i ba.
Misali, yawan shekaru budurwar data balaga ta kosa haka nan kawai tana iya fita daga budurci. Yawan daukan kaya masu nauyi ko yawan yin aiyuka masu wahalarwa suma suna kauda budurwa daga budurcinta. Motsa jiki ko tafiyan kafa mai tsawo suma wasu hanyoyi ne da mace take rasa budurcinta. Don haka ba sai mace ta sadu da namiji ba sannan take fita daga budurci.
Babban matsalar dayasa mazan wancan lokacin suke ganin jini a gaban sabbin amarensu shine na rashin gudanar da wasannin motsa sha'awa ga amaren. Muddin namiji zai zura azzakarinsa a gaban mace ba tare da ya motsataba da akwai yiwuwar ya ji mata ciwo, muddin taji ciwu kuma dole jini ya zuba, idan jini ya zuba su anasu wautar abun nema ya samu.
Bayaga rashin wasannin motsa sha'awa da akwai kuma fargaba da su yan matan suke dashi na saduwar daren farko, wanda duk budurwa ana tsoratata da cewa jima'i yanada zafi. Da wannan fargaban da kuma rashin motsata suke taruwa su zama matsalar da amaryar zata iya zubar da jini. A yanzu a wannan lokacin akwai soyayya kuma maza suna da illimin wasanni da matayensu don haka babu tunanin wani zuban jini ga mazan da suka wayewa da kuma illimi.
A daren farko na ango da amaryar, yana da kyau ango ya tabbatar da cewa yayi wasa da matarsa daga sama har kasanta, inda zai sha ya sha, inda zai tsotsa ya tsotsa inda kuma zai lasa ya tabbatar ya lasa.
A daren farko bisa al'ada maza ne ke yin dukkanin wasannin, amaryar ko dai tanajin kunya ko tsoron kada ace inata koya, ko kuma bata iya wasan ba. Don haka ango shine zai tabbatar da cewa amaryar ta kamu tana bukatar a shigeta.
A lokacinsda da mace ta murzu, ta kamu da bukatuwar mijinta, a wannan lokacin ruwa zai soma fitowa daga gabanta wanda wannan ruwan shike taimakawa azzakari shigan farji ba tare da mace taji zafi ko ciwo ba.
Akwai wani ruwa dake fitowa a gaban namiji wanda ake kira maziyi, shima wannan ruwan yana taimakawa namiji ne wajen shigan farji cikin sauki. Don haka a lokacinda ango da amarya suka himmatu kuma suka fahimci yanzu suna bukatan juna bayan wasannin motsa sha'awa mai tsawo, a daren farko ango idan kazo shigan amarya kada ka shigeta gaba daya kawai ka tura mata azzakari cikin farjinta wuffff.
Ka somane da mata wasa da azzakarinka akan farjinta, kana goga azzakarinka akan dantsakanta idan ka zo shiganta ka tura ne sannu a hankali, idan ka shiga sai ka sake fitarwa ka sake shigarwa ka sake fitarwa a hankali kana mai bata hakuri da lallashinta har sai ka fahimci a wannan lokacin tana bukatarka gaba daya Kuma ta rika ta kamu ta kuma saki jiki.
Kada ka hau kan amaryarka a daren farko da sukuwa mai karfi, ka bita sannu a hankali ne ganin ba abunda ta saba dashi bane, kana haka har lokacinda ka fahimci tana bukatarka da sauri ko da gaggawa.
A daren farko da amarya kada kace zaka mata yanayin kwanciyar jima'i da yake da wahala, ka soma mata ne da kwamciyan jima'i mai sauƙi ba mai wahalarwa ba.
Wadannan hanyoyin sune wasu daga cikin hanyoyin da angwaye zasu kaucewa zuban jini a daren farko da amarensu.
Da fatan sabbin angwaye da masu niyar aure sun fahimci yadda gaskiyar al'amarin yake kada su zubawa matansu ido akan tsammanin zubar da jini a gaban su.
Allah Ya bada zaman lafiya tsakanin angwaye da amaren da zasu tinkari daren farko da kuma masu niyar aure.
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